aef adsva
Nov 25, 2014 @ 3:52 pm

so here is a question I have:  lulu sucks.  they fucking suck.  that’s not a question.  sue me.  not if you’re lulu.  I just meant it rhetorically:  sue me.  I am not actually inviting anyone to sue me.  I meant to indicate a devil-may-care attitude about the fact that I introduced a question that in fact turned out, in any conventional grammatical or even rhetorical way, not to be a question.  lulu sucks because (skip to next graph if you don’t want to read about lulu sucking) they give you cover specs but if you follow them, the spine still doesn’t line up and the bleeds aren’t right, etc.  fuck it.  I hate it.  it’s because, I presume, their machines aren’t precise enough.  there is more error in the machine than what the bleed specs indicate, and you are lucky if your spine is actually on your spine.

now there is a lot of pressure on this paragraph.  I like it when people talk about talking.  I think I might spend the rest of my life writing about talking.  that would make me… an essayist. linguist. such.  I could be one of those linguists who works on the docks.  or flips houses.

separately — totally different point — I don’t like discomfort.  relatively speaking I have so little of it, considering in what horrid roles history often casts animals.  by animals I mean primates.  by primates I mean earthlings… americans.  in what horrid roles, and from 10,000 feet, as they’ve been saying ever since jet airplanes took off, the roles appear to be randomly assigned and the privilege vs discomfort ranges to a greater degree than just about anyone would wish to contemplate.  my role is one generally of comfort.  and to think about the less comfortable, and what happens to them, makes me uncomfortable.  it brings about unwanted empathy and also cognitive dissonance.

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aevae gqwg q wg
Nov 25, 2014 @ 12:22 pm

I’m impatient with the kind of discourse that results when people use each other as foils/objects… when someone has a point to make and uses another person as a proxy for whoever they would argue with.  I don’t have a present example.  I just wanted to write a sentence like that as I think examples lurk everywhere.  I’ll try not to make this particular pre-fab point at the first opportunity presented by anyone who says something that sounds vaguely like the things I wish to argue against.


also, it’s wednesday now.  nope.  tuesday.  it has been said that timekeeping was the first special occupation.  long ago priests, of a sort, who understood astronomy and devised means of record keeping.  notch priests.


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sitting here;
Nov 23, 2014 @ 1:46 pm

I’m sitting in my rocking chair and I have a kalamazoo .  eagles vs titans vs patriots vs lions.  I’ve been to the mom’s twice.  I’ve been purchasing and then eating an above average amount of snacks.

go outside.  feels like 56.


last day w a cat.

I see sun.

go out back and stand there.   camping in the morning even now.

more later.  it’s the weekend.

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s aar hea
Nov 19, 2014 @ 10:47 pm

in that last post I was back from cali.  I said some things about it and my fridge.  I seemed to be indicating that there was something novel about having a fridge.   it’s amazing that I can afford to have a space big enough for a refrigerator, and that I can afford the electricity.  I’ve never bought a new fridge.  both came with the homes.  in any case I have a refrigerator, which is a big box that does a pretty good job keeping things cold though one never knows how cold, only that it feels like a normal amount of cold air spills out of it when you open it, and certainly your things aren’t freezing.  an american has a sense of how cold a refrigerator should be.

my car passed inspection.  it’s still considered valid for driving purposes by the district of columbia.  I don’t know what to say about the feeling of one’s car having passed inspection, but there is such a feeling.

I ordered yet another proof a couple days ago.

a mom’s on ny ave, importantly on the south side so I don’t have to cross ny.

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Nov 12, 2014 @ 8:59 pm

huh.  back from cali.  desolation wilderness. backpacking w 20cent.  so tired.  we worked hard.  we ran out of food and got lost in the wilderness.  airplane day today.  but now here.  quiet.  my fridge is here.  all my stuff is here.

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Oct 31, 2014 @ 11:45 pm

after a while home w the cat I decided not to go to the show but to walk up and down h st.  good choice.  I walked until my heels blistered in my dress shoes and then I walked a lot more.  I walked past the guys who earlier had yelled across the street what the fuck are you but this time on their side and they said it’s the dominos pizza oven man bc evidently they thought my hat looked like a kind of pizza oven so I thought maybe they had entirely forgotten the earlier exchange but then as I walked away I heard there are no priests in outer space.  one person said what the fuck are you you look so coooooooool.  these reactions would happen in bunches so then it seemed like they should just continue but oddly I would sometimes walk down a couple crowded blocks and no one would say a thing.  one person I swear stopped walking and just moaned “telllll meee” and no other words as if I really were a kind of priest.

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;q vwacs.e
Oct 27, 2014 @ 7:59 pm

welcome to numb robot.  much have  Iworked since friday lunch.  I have been a human tho a good bit of the time.  what’s my point.  I notice some mild robot effects.  no matter how much you’re paid (a lot)  it’s life but it’s not life at those times.  heh.  I’m drinking the last shot of a bottle stretched out on some water.  I was glad about various things.  my life is not exactly boring lately.  that’s a theme.  it’s somehow not exactly boring.  mentally I’m fairly alive much of the time.  I’m aware.  I notice the atmospheres.  I take notes.  I remember for long the small gesture.  I get by with a little help from my friends.  I have to have a very open mind.  I don’t miss much.  I invent 50-150% more reality than there is.  I miss quite a lot.  the super power I’d most like to have is ability to listen to whatever/whoever I tell myself to.  I told 20cent this and she was surprised that I can’t pay attention to things at will.  I suggested it’s a kind of narcissism.  I seem to be more interested in my own thoughts, a good bit of the time, compared with what other people are saying.  it’s not just narcissism.  I just have a lot of thoughts and associations for each thing I hear.  but people keep talking even while I’m exploring what they said a minute ago.  it’s that but it’s also some kind of incessant interest in my own thoughts.  or I have ADHD.  I only have ADHD in human/cultural situations wherein I’m excessively stimulated or suitably stimulated but in a way that separates me from what’s happening in the moment.  when I’m doing something like progr/amming I can often focus.  I’m going to california before too long.

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;lkaew ‘ak
Oct 25, 2014 @ 12:05 am
  1. ajekwl;

prodigal du/gout.  I left it sunday at a bar.  returned yesterday poked my head in asked and they had it, except someone had taken it home.  so I returned today.  the piece inside was broken, but the case is the main thing.  a miracle to get it back.

I stayed up until 6 in the morning and then gave myself a 50 percent raise.  I was wound up in the late.  but then more than fine in the day.  a little too fine in the night.  just right.  but it had some momentum into the late.  then today new k/ustomer referred by an old sloth I’ve not spoken with in three years.  email from the prospect yesterday and today I started. I biked up to the bar in the evening for the case and it was our familiar guy there at the not the main place the tertiary place.  which it turns out has good crab cakes and good fries.  staff who ably return things.


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add nu
Oct 22, 2014 @ 5:57 pm

hey.  I’m laughing.  uhh.  I’ve worked a bit each day this week, so far.

I’m at camp as usual.

there are parties.

it’s grey and rainy here on the east coast.  I’m drinking some peppermint tea.

thoughts turn to small private rituals.  thoughts turn to sobriety.

thoughts turn to purely gestural conversations.  Thoughts turn to adversarial conversations.  To using people as a foil, and to the objectification of people more generally.

I like conversations where the content is more important than the gestures, and the gestures support the content.  It’s ok sometimes when conversations are purely gestural for a certain while.  We call this goofing off or bullshitting. Sometimes a sublime thing happens wherein a purely gestural sort of exchange comes to mean something very clearly, though no constituent part of the exchange is easily translatable into verbal content.  Most often that doesn’t happen, tho, and gesture remains gesture.  Such goofing can still prepare a situation… so that content can emerge.  There are issues of motivation and belief.   Sometimes people have a conversation in which neither/none of the participants is motivated about the content, but both/all people might still have some briefly sustainable interest in the gestures.

Often people speak and respond to one another too quickly.  In conversation we’re constantly making snap judgements about how to interpret each thing we hear, and that’s as it should be.  We constantly must interpret what we hear, since most statements are ambiguous.  But often a person quickly settles on one particular interpretation of what they’ve heard, and then responds in a way that doesn’t admit any possibility that that they didn’t understand correctly.  Usually the conversation doesn’t recover, will not succeed, though it may continue for a while as gesture. Speaker #1 hears the response from speaker #2, recognizes on some bodily level that there is confusion, but then lets the conversation advance anyway.  That is, #1 responds to #2′s response, perhaps visibly registering some dissatisfaction, but without insisting on a review of the initial exchange.  If only the misunderstanding had been so dramatic or ridiculous as to make it impossible to continue, these people might have been saved some time and frustration.

Other times #2 says “I’m not sure if you mean X or Y or Z.”  This is a good thing to say, though it will make some people impatient.  Some interlocutors will think #2 is playing dumb, or turning the conversation into something needlessly academic, or in any case delaying progress.  A person was perhaps certain at the outset of the exchange that their point would be clear, and it was just a matter of progressing to the end of the script.  In many cases it’s a failure of imagination on the part of someone who assumes that if they have said some words, and they understand in their own mind what they mean, others must also understand.

Another thing people are sometimes able to do is respond based on one particular provisional interpretation, but do some kind of signalling to the other person to indicate they aren’t really sure of the interpretation and are especially open to being corrected.  This is also a good thing to do.  It’s a way of slowing things down.

Some common reasons why people speak/respond too quickly:

  • Defensiveness. The person doesn’t want the conversation to succeed, because it’s going to lead somewhere they don’t want to go.  And/or the person is afraid of revealing that they don’t understand certain aspects of the topic.  And/or the person is afraid to reveal a more general inability to converse with other people.  The latter could seem far-fetched but no doubt some people have that basic anxiety.
  • Lack of imagination.
  • A person’s participation in the exchange is goal-driven… they have an agenda… they have a specific place at which they want the conversation to arrive.
  • A person isn’t really interested in the topic (lack of motivation), though they may enjoy the gestures, the company, certain appearances, etc.
  • They don’t believe it’s possible to discuss the topic effectively.  Or they believe they’ve already discussed it, in the past, as effectively as could be.

Those are some paragraphs and a bulleted list about talking, especially about the beginning of conversations after person #1 says a thing and before person #2 says a thing, and then directly after person #2 says a thing and so on, but mostly these beginning things.  Voice is of course is interesting.  It’s made out of everything, and can change completely.

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you can’t do something months ago
Oct 18, 2014 @ 3:34 pm

I just placed my order for a 2nd proof.  I spent much of yesterday reading the text of the book.  yeah, I fixed the power window in the late a.m., then proofs arrived at lunch and without meaning to, I spent much of the day and into the night reading it, perhaps 2 times through, not always in order.  I marked a few things in the text I might change.  mainly the cover is what necessitates the 2nd proof.  and the inside cover pages.

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