ewrgwe f
Dec 17, 2014 @ 5:34 pm

I can’t believe I was going to hire someone to tile the wall.  tiling the wall is all I want to do.  I was going to hire someone to do the only thing in the world I want to do.

it’s been two years since I began work on the downstairs bathroom.  here is a rough timeline of my work on the house:

Years 1-3 — Everything except the downstairs bathroom

Years 4-5 — Downstairs bathroom

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Dec 16, 2014 @ 4:26 pm

BATHROOM:  I finished the kerdi in recent days.  only the tile remains.  Today I went to a specialty tile place in alexandria and grabbed some samples for the accent tiles, huh.  I’m doing the tiling myself after all.  I said so in a couple unpublished drafts.  because why should I DIY 95% of the bathroom then hire someone else for the last 5%.  they’ll ruin everything.

I like the specialty tile place.  the intimidation I experience there is less problematic than the hopelessness I experience at the big box place.

professional football:  gruden is staying, per rumors.  he really doesn’t like griffin, and in a way he’s just what griffin needs b/c he gives no preferential treatment, no benefit of the doubt, doesn’t care that three years ago griffin was drafted in the first round.  gruden has explicitly indicated that mccoy is the team’s best QB and would be starting every week if he were healthy.  alas, mccoy is now on IR.  so it’s probably griffin for the next two weeks, then mccoy-griffin-cousins will probably compete for the job next spring unless there is a QB in the draft they can’t resist.  And unless peyton manning or andrew luck declares himself eligible for the 2015 draft, they should not pick a QB.  take an O-lineman, pass rusher or defensive back with the first pick, and then do that again in the 2nd, third, 4th, etc.  It’s really that simple.  2014 bright spots: tress way, bashaud breeland.


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q e4rgqwe
Dec 09, 2014 @ 11:41 pm

I’m not mahatma gandhi.  I’m not MLK.  I”m not going to fix the CIA.  I live in the world.  I vote in the elections.

consume less media

resume the bathroom

tile is possible

before you believe you must achieve

go away from your phone

the meaning of life is manual labor


what about a sky light above the stairs


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Comments: If you say so
Dec 08, 2014 @ 5:07 pm

concerning recent events involving police and race, two things I haven’t done are (1) attend a demonstration and (2) consume TV news about events.  Though a demonstration attended me, friday night, and that was gorgeous.  any case, it might be significant that I haven’t directly witnessed the TV presentation, though I have read some things concerning the manner of that presentation.  I have read articles, online, as they say.  and I have read comments on social media, and in some cases have probably (certainly) read articles about comments, and comments about articles about tweets.

I think it’s very involving for me, involves a lot of processing and a lot of things I find very interesting, but it’s also tiring, seemingly.  I almost typed deadening.  what I mean to say here is that I can’t always separate its effects from the effects of December, and a very recent mini-lull in wage-earning.  it is strange that, during this time when I’ve been consuming the news, I’ve had A LOT of free time.  free time is challenging of course, as I’ve suggested many times in many ways.

what I also mean to say is that the processing of very interesting, vital things is not always immediately enlivening.  it can wipe you out.  can wipe one out.  there is some new sense in recent events that some real change is underway or trying very seriously to be underway.  it’s not just… advocacy organizations and their advocacy organization adversaries performing their rote duties, as they are variously funded to do.  it seems to be a time of actual history, which somehow pops with binary simplicity into view.  sometimes history seems to turn on or off.  that simple.  uhh, we know of course that history is in some sense always happening, but.  is it.  no.

when history does happen, the body recognizes it and functions differently.  certain habits deactivate, while others are perhaps reinforced.  I’m qualified to write on the topic of habits.

there is also null december, the time when our spectacular society slithers (sorry) towards its ultimate manifest, the super bowl, I mean christmas.  and when the days get shorter and then longer, yet seem more brutal during their early lengthening.  but at least they’re lengthening, starting Dec 21.  and now the brown hat of night has with ridiculous suddenness come down on top of the day, even as I type


dont even try to figure people out.  tip loudly.  14 days til solstice.

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Dec 08, 2014 @ 4:03 pm

nearly unbearable irony of Republicans saying we shouldn’t release the torture report because foreign partners say it’s a bad idea and there might be terrorist reprisals. these same people spent the entire 8 years of Bush’s presidency bragging about how little they cared about the opinions of foreign partners and how we’re not going to be driven by fear to abandon our values.  I’ve done a lot of drugs but somehow I still remember it was political suicide during Bush II to suggest that we should or should not do something based on the counsel or threats of foreign elements.

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Dec 08, 2014 @ 11:57 am

there was a very, very interesting moment at the reading friday night in Admo.  the house reader had read, and the guest-house reader had read, in that order or not in that order, so it was time for the first of the three non-house readers.  just then we heard the protest nearing us outside the window in the 18th street below (“no justice no peace” was what we heard).  immediately & in no time at all, instantly, the routines in our room quite melted, and the first non-house, it was dora, rolled up the window blind to see the scene outside, our sound changing in the room to something non-routine, and it seemed the rest of the reading wouldn’t happen at all.  coat nylon sounds and such.  it took no time at all.  we were interrupted by the street art outside, and there was immediately a clear and unspoken sense in the room that what was happening outside might be better, probably was better, certainly so, as art and as history more generally, if history can ever be more general than art, probably not.  there was a sense in which we were outcompeted, and gladly, mostly gladly, by the art outside.  one or two persons left the reading and barely if ever returned.  someone inside said poetry is protest too.  meaning, let’s not stop what we’re doing indoors.  true that poetry is protest, just about always.  anything difficult (in some sense) and non-remunerated is automatically protest, given the American context.  but just because we routinely protest in this way doesn’t mean it’s always the best protest.  poetry has to compete, if only in the sense that whatever it aims to do may also be happening elsewhere and perhaps close by, in some more effective way.  it all depends on the aims, maybe.  but we’ve already established that the aim of poetry is protest.  in any case, there is competition.  we continued with the reading.  it was a good reading.  better than most, for my purposes.

novelty has an advantage and novelty gave some of the advantage to the art outside.  it was unusual for us to hear chanting outside and of course it gained  in its effect from the recent news in our heads.  the effect of, for some of us, reading things online, probably, all week at least, and then having it happen in the much more visceral way.

I did feel some embarrassment, something a bit like embarrassment, to note that our room was full of non-black people.  we were nearly all non-black, if not all white, in the bar.  it’s a fact.  there’s no end to what one can make of the fact, or not, or, but, this was true.  and of course this is sometimes a topic, the non-blackness of experimental poetry spaces, at least in DC.  it’s a very white crowd, obvs.  why don’t we attract many blacks… I am very loathe to jump to conclusions… but I believe it often has as much to do with simply failing to be interesting enough, a good bit of the time, rather than our being somehow forbidding.  I tend to think we are welcoming of all kinds, but that doesn’t mean we’re always worthy.  oh, this gets into all sorts of questions about what makes a poetry event worthy of attendance, and to what degree poetry should entertain, and what entertain means, etc.  I’m suggesting only that the make-up of a crowd, even with respect to race, may be driven by things that directly have little to do with race… suggesting that, for reasons I won’t try to identify, the attendance or non-attendance of any racial group could point to failures in the writing, or not, that have basically nothing to do with race.

the crowd at our readings is not always very non-black.  you have to be careful with statistics where small numbers are concerned.  if we have 20 people in the seats at DCAC, it’s true that in some cases none or nearly none of the 20 are black, but then on other occasions nearly half are black, or not quite nearly half.  in any case, on average, the reading crowds skew non-black relative to the general local populace of people walking down the street outside or stationed in nearby businesses and homes.  enough so that it’s more than fair to wonder about it.

and it’s more than fair to wonder, as I’ve suggested, why (or when?) one or two or three people reading what they’ve written to an audience… why (or when?) is that better art than a group of people chanting and dying-in in the streets.

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mark sanchez
Dec 07, 2014 @ 4:58 pm

neighbors: I went to my neighbor’s party last night.  I was accompanied by someone who immediately identified my neighbor as someone she had met at a party the previous night.  and so there were three people at the party that my friend already knew.

I had never been in that house.  there was some live music.  a violin and upright bass.  eagles went on 4th and 1, made it.   my neighbor is a german.  you can’t tell what someone is like when they’re hosting a party.   I stayed maybe an hour and 15 minutes.  I didn’t go upstairs.

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q hyukuykl97l 467i2u34t1q
Dec 04, 2014 @ 2:31 pm



1) it’s tidy in here, in the office.  I shredded some of it, filed some, threw some away, etc.  huh.

2) it’s thursday.

2a) I have done some work this week.  I’m fine in that sense.

3) I’m carrying around some kind of sick the last few days.  something in one of my neck glands.  to heal it I’ve mostly been relying on the power of positive thinking.  I feel a bit tired.

3) I disappear myself into my days.

3) the thing that makes life worth living is knowing as little as possible about what my family thinks about anything in the news.

3) for now the book is out of my hands.  abandoning lulu.  handed off files to RS to see what he can do with another printer.


3) I go stand out back for a few in the fresh air, maybe have a party out there

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a rewgaer g
Dec 04, 2014 @ 1:56 pm

I too suffer from the affliction wherein any time something important and dark happens in the world, I somehow think I should say something about it.  this is the inclination of anyone who has made of habit of saying things, raising one’s hand in class, etc.  passing notes, writing poems and so on.

I’m not generally pro-silence, but there seem to be times when it’s the only appropriate thing.  silence or near-silence.

a problem with writing is that it uses things.  it treats the subject like… an object.  something to be used.  it converts each subject into… a signpost in the history of one’s writing.

above all else, writers valorize getting the thing written, and often talk about writing as if it matters more than whatever one is writing about.

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; erjg we; jgr
Dec 02, 2014 @ 8:45 pm

the old thought about living somewhere else for a couple months.  anything from renting a studio in philly/cleveland/etc to central america.   nothing specific but I would like to either rent this place out while I’m gone or do some work while I’m away.  something to make me feel like I’m living somewhere else rather than vacationing.

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