don’t know how this slipped my mind, but last time I saw some old friends they intro’d me to the turtle porn phenomenon. ok, so, all you need to know, turtles make a distinctive sound and motion when they’re doing it, regardless of whether they’re doing it to another turtle or to a shoe. so there are lots of videos all over the web or at least youtube and presumably most were uploaded by someone who didn’t realize they were one of a gazillion people to upload turtle sex to youtube.