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Nov 29, 2008 @ 11:25 pm
the email I just sent to the 20th century contained a sentence like “I hope you liked this email; if so, please tell me you liked it.” that might be verbatim. she might read my blog starting yesterday, and she has a very good memory for words/phrases, so it’s possible that when I quote myself that she will know that it is a misquote, if she reads that blog post and was present for the thing I’m quoting. tho in this case I think I got the quote right. I’m in w.va. until tomorrow. I ate very good pancakes today. it is unusual. the other day she said we should do something. I knew what she meant. I said, you mean out there. she said yes. she was very certain that we should do something out there, like go on an activity. I was also certain about it. I said yes we should do something. then shortly thereafter I got an idea, which surprised me, as I often do not get ideas about activities. I said we should do some washi/ngton things, like go to the white house and go up in the wash/ington monument. she saw the merit in that idea. I said I hadn’t done those things. as I spoke I believed that we would do those things and it wouldn’t be arduous, and there was no reason to think we wouldn’t do those things. it would be easy, like putting a stamp on an envelope or rolling down a car window when there are power windows. we have done some going out things, out in public, but not for long. I don’t mean anything by that. I just mean we’ve done things like go to two bars, meet up at the house where she had thanksgiving dinner, and uhhh that’s it. no! we walked around eastern market looking for pie but that didn’t work out. we went to the tune inn, which is also a bar, so that’s three bars. tho it’s also a diner. the last time we were at a bar it was thanksgiving night and the bar was asyl/um. in the basement of that bar, people know each other and she knows some of those people. we had a drink and talked to someone about bike p/olo, which is a sport that exists. it is a sport that seems painful to me, but she is thinking of playing it with the person who was at the bar. then we played pool at the bar and she won this time. she won the game officially when I hit the 8-ball in, but I didn’t let it go in. I blocked it and put it back on the table, and then she won by hitting the 8-ball in. she played in a league. what’s your excuse. I liked writing this email and it was easy to write. I’m a little tired but it’s ok. I’ve been in w.va. since yesterday and will leave tomorrow. when I do leave, it will be very american: the open road, rugged individualism, japanese sedan, and partying. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: 4 Comments |
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Nov 26, 2008 @ 5:59 pm
so.. wow. I mean no matter what. I haven’t always been forthcoming here. that should be a funny sentence, because it is an obvious statement in the form of a confession. but anyway. shit. people are traveling. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: If you say so |
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Nov 26, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
anyways whatever. I’m going to get started on my thanksgiving eve. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: 1 Comment |
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Nov 26, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
lunch. just going on. goddamn coffee. it’s going to be this way til I’m thone. or do some wrrk. which I do! I wrrk hrrd! those syllables were retro. I know I’m not literally snoop dogg, and in many ways am a different person than snoop dogg. just because he has become a kind of deity for me doesn’t mean it will always be that way. tho I will always remember the time I had with him. it’s ok! I don’t mind thanksgiving. I like it. I need this unwinding I’m doing right now, tho it be in a wound up state. it is still unwinding, when I blog several times in a row and feel pretty unapologetic /unconcerned about it. I was once adamantly opposed to such use of slashes… cuz it’s like, the writer should pick a fucking word. I just don’t always want to allocate time to picking a word. I’d rather just keep going. it is totally selfish. I think that by keeping going, I will indeed arrive somewhere that I will like to be. it’s like fighting beach erosion. you pile on the sand and the beach is back and then you can relax for a minute but the beach starts eroding again immediately. but it’s also like going into the future while writing, because that’s what you’re doing while writing. I’m laughing b/c that’s troo. I’m folding my arms. I’m a penguin. ha! I had a place in mind I wanted to arrive at in this blog post. I noticed that it was pointed at that place. I didn’t have that place in mind before I started writing, but I very quickly in the first few bars or whatever saw that it was pointing there and I liked the looks of that place and was intent on holding that line so as to arrive there, but then I got distracted and now I can no longer remember exactly what that place was like. it is hard to hold such a place in mind or else writing might not be necessary, but writing can lead away from the line and then forgetfulness sets in if you are not careful, and I was not. it’s impossible being this way. I must not think that, and I must not act in a crazy way. I fear even using the word crazy. I think that the surest way to be crazy is to act crazy, so I’m not going to do that overall, tho definitions may shift somewhat over time. I feel like the mere word and therefor concept seems to make the action more possible, which makes the being possible. so it starts with the word. but it’s no great worry. just coffee. dont lecture me, unless it’s one I will enjoy. Fuck. I just wanted to write about unwinding, then I made a huge deal about getting to a “place” etc. that was pointless. I just wanted to say that I feel the possibility of some unwinding today and it has to do with the holiday tomorrow and that I like thanksgiving overall and will go out to a restaurant with my mom and sisters then will make my way back to dc and may meet the 20th century at asylum where she is going w/ friends after having thanksgiving with friends. nevermind that. that was the idea and I think that will happen tho now I am thinking about how compressed that will make things and am wondering if that’s for the best, since I will be driving to w.va. on Friday. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: If you say so |
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Nov 26, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
meanwhile, things are things. some things seems to be in languages, ya know. by things I don’t mean anything big. uhhh. payoff… uh. things are things. are things. I’m going to take a walk and get lunch. I’ll get back to you. hope all’s well. things are things. sometimes I remember to say “I’m not trying to be this way.” I’m self-conscious. I said that. I don’t experience it as “uncomfortable” though, much of the time, because I guess I’m always that way? I’m really not sure. maybe my self-consciousness is just more op/en source. I know I’m weird though. I am. two cups of coffee this morning. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: If you say so |
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Nov 26, 2008 @ 1:23 pm
……………………………………………………………………………….. ………………………………………………………………………………. ……………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………….. ……………………………………………………………………………. …………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………….. …………………………………………………………………………. etc this is supposed to be a representation of how many times I did blog posts since each time I thought I might never do one again. each dot is a certain number of posts. the first line is the number of posts since the first time I thought I might not post again. the second line is the number of posts since the 2nd time I thought I might not post again. etc. each dot represents X number of posts. I’m not sure that all dots represent the same number so I guess it’s not always X. it goes from right to left and then keeps going forever or not. when I publish this the dots will probably be grouped together in a weird way. sorry. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: If you say so |
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Nov 26, 2008 @ 1:12 pm
real or hypothetical situation where information is not a problem? (whatever) I am thinking about things / I am not thinking about things. regs times. * * * a thing has to be extruded / necessary as in uhhh invoked into real or imagined things. necessary that way. you know when you feel like your imagination has a lot of efficacy vis-a-vis social experience. a lot of efficacy. when you feel like you can actually control how things are by using your self or mind or whatever… coming up with some kind of visualization and just uhhh seeing a thing along. or feeling brighter or relaxing. I guess relaxing. sort of. I can lose track of whether relaxing exists when I am in the best position to relax. I hadn’t been thinking about relaxing per se. I guess I had. thanks. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: 1 Comment |
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Nov 25, 2008 @ 5:24 pm
I just sent my sister this email:
information about my social life is actually one of both of my sisters’ favorite things. so I think she will like that. it felt good to be able to create value for her so easily. it was like paying for a restaurant bill by drawing on a napkin. I put on long underwear. the 20th century’s house is cold. we are going to make salmon, garlic cheese mashed potatoes, and green beans. that seems ridiculously good and basic, dependable, like leggos. it is the phase where I drastically discount memories. I can remember having a good time, etc, a couple days ago, but don’t believe it will happen again. I think that I must have been in an odd mental state and things were warped. I don’t expect things to be good again, except briefly at times I can believe that things will be good again. the image of three different-colored food items is powerful. and mannerisms. yes I think that the time when I most believe in the continuity of my experience vis-a-vis a girl are when I have vivid recollections of mannerisms. and also recollections involving relative coordinates/distances between things like shoulders, elbows, etc. those things are easier to remember than a face, for example. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: If you say so |
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Nov 25, 2008 @ 10:23 am
that lotion post was pretty pointless. sorry. it was a misfire. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh skein is a word I think. there’s a weird skein. weird flock of geese. I must have thought it meant weird skin. then weird skein would be redundant. I need some punctuation for “I don’t think anyone should get anything out of thinking about this.” Maybe a slash like this\ There’s a lot of poetry where that would come in handy. if you see a gap, put ropes around it. I sometimes forget that not all people are atheists. it doesn’t seem like there’s no time to waste until about 2 or 3 o’clock. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: If you say so |
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Nov 25, 2008 @ 12:14 am
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Nov 24, 2008 @ 2:50 pm
I have this lotion dispenser that’s totally fucked. the lotion always dries up in the nozzle and blocks most of the opening, so that it squirts out at odd angles halfway across the bathroom whenever I operate the pump. you’d think I could just clear the opening and next time it would be fine, but it just dries up in there again in a different way. suave I think. some of it just went somewhere and I thought it was on me but couldn’t find it. I never found it. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: 2 Comments |
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Nov 24, 2008 @ 12:11 pm
that was trippy. instant. where when the weekend is over one thinks, did all that happen. at some point saturday night, prolly before midnight, I said something like, back before the magic died. before we started taking each other for granted. I don’t remember what specifically I was talking about. she seems to have a good memory for these things so I could ask. I was making a comparison between past (-1 hour, or -2 hours) and present behaviors. Filed under: Uncategorized Comments: If you say so |
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