snow

I like it

it makes things both shiny and obscure, and revealed

.

it’s a uniter, not a divider.

–

it snowed.

–

I hit the sweet spot in some botanic.

man.

going down with the botanic.  I’m reminded of the old gary larson comic, wherein the cook is seen pondering whether to regret having believed that the cook always goes down with the the ship.

so it is we generate these psychic closures.  out of the twigs and button threads of the field.

of closures, the room is smoothing out.  it does proceed, by an hour or two of work a day.  sometimes a burst of 3 or 4.

I opened the vent in there.  it is toasty.  it never really got cold, even with the vent closed.  so you know.  in the closed it was cold for a while.

the renovators were seen moving boxes of hardwood flooring into the house.  I presume the wood will acclimate in there for a few days or whatever, before installation.  so they anticipate installation soon.  and that would be it, right.  I have at times gotten just a little pissed off about how quickly they are able to move through all these phases.  time lapse.  the nerve of them.  gutting and renovating an entire house in 2+ months.

the patriots winning the superbowl is like, a tie.  the season would just be a tie.  every team’s record would be reset to 8-8.  hopefully it would not affect draft order.  I think it’s unlikely, though.  they’re one of those teams that looks great when it’s playing the broncos.  speaking of 8-8.

it was an outstanding day on the search front.  I met with recruiters who I liked very much.  in fact they have changed how I see recruiters.  that sentence is somehow embarrassing.  separately I heard from an employer to which I applied directly.  that is actually the first time that’s happened during this search.  separately I heard from another less impressive recruiter who is based in NY but works with DC clients sometimes.  heady times in the search, after a dullness in recent days.

I can’t say enough about the single speed conversion.  the bike.  it has changed the way I see recruiters.

boulder was the first place I ever lived where I encountered people who believed that a haircut could help purge the psyche of, toxins.  I have such a clear image of the moment when it was explained to me by two extremely blonde girls, really the two blondest people I have ever seen, that the reason one was giving the other a haircut was because they were beginning a fast.  My puzzlement must have been clear.  I imagine them detecting my puzzlement at the initial explanation and voluntarily providing further explanation in a charitable, not quite patronizing way.  a concise and pleasant explanation, each or both staring out of their aura’s deep indefinite abyss of blondeness.

sometimes we “tell ourselves things”.  we call these things “affirmations”.  here are some affirmations:

• I got a haircut today
• I am meeting with new recruiters tomorrow
• I generally have been doing some positive job search types of efforts and activities on a daily basis.  A bit each day.  I called a stranger today who someone suggested I call.  we agreed to talk tomorrow.  she is going to put me in touch with some other strangers.  so it is you get passed along like a bucket.  it’s kind of old fashioned.  I suppose I like some aspects of it.
• I may hear back tomorrow about a big contract that I thought I would hear about tuesday.  Still in play.
• I like to party.
• I have to check if I have clean pants (not an affirmation, more like a to-do).

on the other hand the arrythmia of funemployed life does cause a fog to roll in.  it’s not a depression like sadness but is I think a depression probably in some technical sense.  it gets a little harder some days to feel sharp mentally.  the sleep happens for the most part.  no insomnia to speak of lately.  though I don’t think I’ve ever fully adjusted to the earlier schedule enforced by the renovation many mornings.  I hear them starting around 6:40 most mornings, just walking into the house and getting their tools in there, maybe moving a ladder or dragging a bucket across the floor.  what’s odd is that I am conscious at that point of having already been awake.  I don’t think that they wake me up.  it’s as if I’m in a very shallow sleep at that time.  or just plain awake.  in any case it is an issue, but one I can do little about.  just hope the project moves along fast.  and indeed they are now painting.  I presume final plumbing (toilet, sinks etc) will follow painting.  I presume electrical had to precede drywall.  they are painting the front of the house white and have already started.  it’s a questionable choice next to my light green, but we’ll see how it goes.  I presume floors will be last.

I have a good view of the evening sky from this rear office where I have typically been seated when blogging in recent days, or maybe half the time with the other half being the kitchen table.  this is certainly a good room up here.  a good place for dusk.  really it’s a very good place.

I see interior doors out there, OSB, trim and even a section of cabinetry.  in the back yard next door.

sometimes the next step is going to be a burst. and it’s not the burst yet.  this is true in drywall.  it’s ok to sometimes just do a little bit of work.  but sometimes you have to not do that little bit of work so you can do a lot next time.

there is a commercial building, I think near the corner of montello and florida, that has a little tree growing out of the wall, and it has been living there for at least 2 years, growing out of the brick, I’m going to say 15 feet above a bare stretch of sidewalk, and 8 feet below the roof, more or less in the middle of a wide expanse of probably yellow brick with a few small bills or empty hangers, and it’s maybe three feet tall growing out of a one inch ledge that I suppose is a decoration or just division in the brick work, to divide the expanse of wall so there isn’t too much uninterrupted wall.  the extremes of cold I suppose unless perhaps there is a leak there with a bit of conditioned air coming out of the wall.  not much moisture much of the time but that ledge may slope just slightly toward the wall, catching a bit of water possibly along the entire wall and channelling it to the lowest place in the ledge.  though typically the builder would be careful to slope the ledge slightly down from the wall.  it’s possible there is a large animal in the attic that sleeps constantly and bleeds water.  that water follows its tail down to a crack in the plaster, and on out to the tree.

skinskins twice beat the giants in 2011, and both were solid wins: 28-14 and 23-10.  skinskins came close to beating the pats.  skinskins lost by one score to the 49ers, 19-11.  though the 49ers dominated in the 2nd half.  perhaps it was not as close as the score.  SF outrushed WSH, 138-52.

based on these results, it seems that the 49ers and ravens will meet in the super bowl.  it’s not an easy game to pick, mostly because the skins did not play the ravens in 2011.  ravens and skins last met during the regular season in Dec 2008, a 24-10 victory for the ravens.  but I don’t know if that game should impact our prediction for the super bowl.  I’m gonna say… 49ers over Ravens.  20-10.

of course I’m drawn to the room now that it’s closed up.  it’s a grey and white stomach.  it’s perhaps the warmest room in the house despite the vents being closed.

I think this is the 6th post since sunday morning.  crap I forgot to bring a drink up here.  tom sawyer came on shuffle a while ago.  the guitar solo is basically over.

I’m waiting to hear back about what would be a good contract.  that I didn’t hear anything today is either good, bad or neither.  but I actually prefer to think that it’s either good or bad.  oh, I just got an email.  so I did hear something.  they plan to meet first thing this week to decide.  that was his phrase.  his referring to the week in the future tense reminded me it’s MLK day.  I briefly knew that yesterday but hadn’t yet known it today.  I made it past 8:30 without knowing.

there are things one can do.  one can put on the wireless headphones and listen to something like stereolab and do some mud.  or some bands.

i know I SHOULdn’t eat black tea

but I want some sharpness

–

on the bed I was thinking about feeling good about things.  occasionally it occurs to me that feeling good about things is an option.  there are things to feel good about.  my eye itches.  I’m going to try water.  I’m back.  I splashed it with water a few times.  psychologically it helped.

as always in long-term home improvement one must maintain a degree of obliviousness about one’s place in the overall.  it helps the spirits to be near sighted most of the time.

and remember the finiteness.  there is a finite amount of drywall finishing to do.

the water in the eye helped somatically..

“I really don’t know what I’m doing here.” –Robert Smith

a day a day.

leads become cool.  other leads emerge.  lead.

by bits the seams fill with mud.

arnold sits on me.

the mind was a bit foggy.. sleepy.

I feel like the wall works.  sounds of power tools seem distant.  of course they may be distant.  they may be in anchorage.  I can’t see them.  but I feel like they were near — perhaps on the other side of the wall.. and yet seemed muffled.  such has been the totality of my effort that I am at peace regardless.  I know I did what could be done. whatever will be will be.  I left it all on the field.

a little more mud later.  march of the mud.  I am its person.  it persons me.

this morning was a long time ago.  I closed up the walls in the closet.   started mudding in there.  an interval of mudding begins.

watched some of those games.  burnt the soup.  sat at the park for a time.  that was around 11.  everything I’m wearing is brown.

nothing quite like closing up a wall.

dishwasher sounds and earbuds.

need some course discs.

potentially I could have the seams closed by tomorrow midnight.  never more to glimpse the sinews.

painting is out there.  it is plausible.  people scale sheer cliffs hundreds of feet with no ropes.  so for me to say that the room will one day be complete and painted is no great reach.  the small size of the room begins to help somewhat.

I almost opened a second carton of OJ.

it’s not as if I didn’t have any of the soup before I burnt it.  there is more celery at the store.  the whole house smells like the burnt soup.  it will probably be gone by tomorrow.

that was quite an aggressive interval in the room in recent weeks.

I went into the renovation.  I had been complaining to them about some holes in the firewall.  the ones I found when I removed the drywall in the closet.  today my tone became a bit more urgent and minutes thereafter the project manager guy said he was headed over and we would take a look together.  so we went in there and had a look with their brick guy.  the place was quite full of drywall workers and the music was just south of loud.

the first floor not surprisingly is a wide open floor plan as these renovations almost always are.  the 2nd floor over there has 2 bathrooms.  it has a bathroom in the same location as the one over here, and also has a 3/4 bathroom in between the master BR and 2nd BR.  the 3/4 bathroom has direct doors from the bedroom on either side.  it doesn’t open onto the hall.

as a result of the extra bathroom, each of those two bedrooms is smaller than the comparable one over here.  the master BR over there is maybe 2/3 the size of the one over here.

it’s still skeletal over there, with no drywall on most of the walls.

the brick damage over there was not as severe as on my side.  just gaps in mortar and maybe 2 missing bricks, whereas over here I think about 15 were missing.